The Great Geek’s Guide to Star Wars Cocktails

It can be argued that the movie-bingeing phenomenon that Netflix is currently riding first began with the original Star Wars trilogy. That’s the one with Episodes 4 to 6. Now we have The Force Awakens (Episode 7) and the stand-alone Rogue One. Those 5 movies can make for a fun geeky weekend, especially when everybody can speak along with the dialog.

I guess you will have to include the prequel trilogy, even though it may taste a bit sour in your mouth. But you know what will help you get over the bitter disappointment? You can drink Star Wars-themed cocktails. They’ll help a lot to soothe you as Anakin whines about how he hates sand.

Whether you watch the Original Trilogy, the Prequel Trilogy, or the 2 latest Star Wars flicks, these drinks offer the perfect lubricant. You can even prepare all of them, and then you can take a very small sip of each cocktail as the characters they represent appear on screen.

Darth Vader

Who says you can’t root for the bad guy? This is arguably the greatest movie villain of all time, and that all black get-up and that resonant voice deserve a drink that’s equally intimidating. For that, you need the Black Widow Martini.

Just get a martini shaker and add 1.5 ounces of black rum with 0.75 ounces of crème de cacao, along with ice and a drop or two of black food coloring. Meanwhile, in another bowl you need to mix brown sugar and a drop of black food color until all the sugar is black.

Now wet the rim of your glass with water, and then dip the rim into the sugar bowl. Then strain your martini into the glass.

This looks like black engine sludge, and that’s because it uses black food coloring to go along with the black rum. You can make this with the Bacardi Black Rum to really connect with the Dark Side of the Force. Serve it to your friends, and if they balk just tell them that you find their lack of faith disturbing.

Yoda

Despite the overall awfulness of the prequels, at least we saw Yoda in action with his lightsaber. To celebrate the little troll, we have the Giggling Yoda cocktail which somehow resembles the swamps of Dagobah where Luke first meets him.

To make this, you’re going to need half a pear that’s cored and peeled, 5 or 6 grapes, 2 teaspoons of lime juice, and a sprig of mint. Put all these in a blender. Now get your vodka (Smirnoff or Absolut will do) and pour it in a martini glass, and follow that up with the blended fruity concoction. Top it all off with ginger ale.

Speak in reverse, you can afterwards.

Han Solo

To commemorate the passing of our favorite scruffy nerf-herder in the movie, we need a drink that gives the same vibes as the bar where Solo shot first. That’s the Smoked Hudson, and for this you’re going to need a very smoky whiskey like Laphroig.

To make it, get a metal or scorch-resistant bowl where you can put your orange peel, a cinnamon stick, and 2 cloves. Light a match and scorch these ingredients until they smolder, and then put a large cocktail glass on top to capture the smoke.

Now get 1 ounce of whiskey, 1 ounce of rye, ½ ounce of Amaro, ½ ounce of Benedictine, and 3 dashes of orange bitters and put them all in a large glass. Fill the glass with ice, and stiff for about 15 seconds.

Get that cocktail glass with the smoke and strain the drink into it. Put in the peel for garnish. Serve it, and when they say they love it tell them that you already know.

Luke Skywalker

When you were young, you probably thought the guy was the hero, right? Now that you’re of drinking age you’re old enough to know better. But at least we now know why he was so whiny when Vader told him who his father was—he got that whine from Anakin.

Now remember how Luke drank that blue bantha milk back in Tatooine? You can get something similar with the Blue Milk drink. Just get a shaker and put in 1 ounce of coconut rum, 1 ounce of Amaretto, 1 ounce of cream, 2 ounces of blue curacao, and 3 ounces of milk. Shake with ice for about 30 seconds, and then pour it in a chilled glass. You’re now ready for any wretched hive of scum and villainy.

Don’t say that you’ll try to make these drinks. Either you do it, or you do not. There is no try!